


Cagebird

by sonyanevermind



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonyanevermind/pseuds/sonyanevermind
Summary: This story follows the mother of Gundam Tanaka, Mei Tanaka, and her struggle with abuse, motherhood, relationships, and the entire adventure that happened before the birth of Gundam.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a "fanfiction" I've been writing for myself for approximately a year and have decided to finally to publish it. This story isn't really supposed to be accepted as canon, since I'm involving the theoretical parents of the other characters. It's just a story I made for fun based on hints given by Gundam's dialogue in the game and my own ideas for what happened to Gundam's mother. Please enjoy :)

        It all started in middle school, first year, when Mei Tanaka transferred into class 1-C. Everyone’s stares drilled holes into her frail body.

        Especially the eyes of Yoki Kasai, the class’ prized possession, the boy all of the numb-skulled girls fell to their knees for. His stare was both harsh yet soft, full of interest and desire.

        Mei was teased daily about her abnormal weight, the fragility of her bones, her sub-par looks, and her thinning black hair. All of her classmates left notes in her locker, wrote profanity in permanent marker on her desk when she was away, and physically harassed her until she was bleeding out. She left the school everyday in tears, climbing on the roof every chance she got to escape the noise of the kids screaming in her facing and laughing at her demise.

        It hurt so badly.

        One day, Mei was running up the wooden stairs to the rooftop, holding her arm which she suspected to be broken. Waiting for her on the rooftop was Yoki, look out into the horizon. His attention shifted to the heavily gasping Mei, hunched over and out of breath. He slowly walk over and gently put a hand on her shoulder.

        “Are you alright?” he asked, bending down to her level.

        At that moment, Mei’s heart sank to her stomach. That was the first time anyone in the school had shown general concern for her. The first time no one called her a “skinny bitch” or a “starved child.” For the time, she didn’t mind someone’s eyes looking directly at her. A tear rolled down her cheek.

        “No, I am absolutely horrible,” she weeped. She lifted her head to meet Yoki’s soft gaze, “but really, I’ve never been better.” She then fainted into his arms, feeling safe for the first time.

        After that fateful day, Yoki and Mei started to get closer. Every time one of their classmates came to tease her, Yoki stood in their way. And Mei made Yoki lunch and other gifts for appreciation. Of course, her cooking was awful, but Yoki appreciated the gesture.

        As the weeks went past, Mei’s love for Yoki began to grow larger. She couldn’t stop blushing every time he looked in her direction, and she flushed every time he mentioned her name. It came to the point where poor little Mei couldn’t stay anywhere near him.

        And finally, under the blossoming cherry tree, on a Friday, Mei confessed her raging love for Yoki.

        He gladly accepted.

        They walked to the high school entrance ceremony with their fingers interlaced and enormous smiles on both of their faces. Nobody could believe that a pale-skinned nobody could date a muscular, well-tanned jock who already has a selection of girls to choose from. Now, the bullies have moved on from teasing her appearance to sending death threats if she didn’t break up with Yoki. She also gained a lot of “friends”, who were basically just girls using Mei to get closer to Yoki.

        “If anything mysteriously happens to you,” one of them would say, winking at her friends, “then I am next in line in the dating pool.”

        Every time her classmates sent her to the roof in tears, Yoki would already be there, waiting to comfort her with a kiss on the cheek or a long hug. Mei relied on Yoki, and Yoki supported Mei. They were a match made in heaven.

        The years of high school strode on, the couple’s connection grew deeper, much to the dislike of the girls in waiting. Of course, over time, the bullies died off, but Mei continued to be stalked by all of the girls who were her “friends.”

        But she didn’t care. It was worth it if she could still hold Yoki’s hand. If she could feel his lips pressed against hers. If she could fall into his arms whenever she got hurt. All of the threats and the harassment was worth it.

        Finally, the three long years of high school came to an end. Mei was able to earn enough money to attend the same university as Yoki. They agreed that if everything worked out in university, and they were still together, then they would get married and live the rest of their life in harmony. That was all Mei could ask for: a perfect life with the sweetest, kindest man she’s ever met. She had fallen so hard for him, it was hard to let go. Hell, she could never let go. She’d love him to the ends of the Earth and back.

        She counted down the days until she would finally shed the disgusting name of “Tanaka”, and be blessed as a new person, Mei Kusai.


	2. Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story supposedly takes place in Japan, but I'm not familiar with Japanese university life and such, so this is modeled after my knowledge of the American system. I apologize about the pacing, I'm not the best at starting stories :)

        Mei had entered uni in hopes of becoming an art teacher. She believed she had a talent for art, and she absolutely adored children, so it all mixed together perfectly. Yoki, on the other hand, wished to become a gym teacher. He had the athletic strength and the commanding voice needed for the job, and anyways, he was talented in many sports, so it only made sense.

        Mei and Yoki were renting an apartment near the university so that they could live together. They had to undertake part-time jobs to afford the rent, but it was worth it.

        It was always worth it, if it was for each other.

        Yoki and Mei spent countless hours working and doing homework, splitting their time between work and studying. This was a lifestyle Mei was accustomed to, but not one that Yoki enjoyed.

        “Mei darling, why don’t we relax a bit tonight…” Yoki loosely wrapped an arm around Mei’s shoulders. Mei looked up from her textbook and into Yoki’s soft gaze. Mei couldn’t help but melt into a smile. She couldn’t resist Yoki’s plead.

        “Alright, where do we suggest we go?” Mei inquired, closing her textbook and shuffling some papers. Yoki checked his phone and looked back up at Mei.

        “Some guys I met at uni have a house party every Friday and it is ALWAYS packed! We have to go check it out at least once.” Yoki eventually replied. He helped Mei up from her seat and pulled her into a small kiss. Mei couldn’t say no. They’ve been working hard for weeks now, without moment of rest or a second to themselves. Mei sighed.

        “Alright, let’s go to this party. A little bit of fun couldn’t hurt anyone, right?”

\---

        Yoki knocked on the apartment door. Mei stood behind him, watching. She had terrible social anxiety, mainly because of what happened in her youth. She understood that it was time to put it all behind her, but the words those children screamed at her stayed like a tattoo on her brain.

        The door opened to reveal a young man, around the age of 19, the same age as Yoki and Mei.

        “Yoki, mah man!” the man smiled. He outstretched his hand to engage in a special handshake.

        “Ah, this is the lady you’re always talkin’ bout.” his focus turned to Mei, whose face turned red when he mentioned her name. “Quite the looker, aren’t ya.”

        Mei felt his gaze travel on her body. She was afraid he was going to punch her or yell out an offensive statement, but he just smiled and stepped out of the doorway.

        “You guys are definitely coming in.”

\---

        The room was crowded with young people, the space smelling of sweat and cheap alcohol. Mei noticed people drinking out of red plastic cups and rolling blunts. She shuddered uncomfortably.

        “Mei, I see some of my buddies over there. I’ll say hi to them then come back, ok?” Yoki was pointing to a crowd of people sharing a joint of what she suspected to be marijuana. She looked into Yoki’s eyes and only sighed. Yoki deserved to relax and be free from the clutched of responsibility. She couldn’t act as his “guardian angel” all the time.

        “Alright…” Mei said. Yoki eagerly skipped over to the crowd and exchanged hand gestures with all of them.

        Mei didn’t know what to do with herself. She had never been to an actual party, so all of the loud music and noisy people were a bit overwhelming for her. She made her way to the corner of the room, which she suspected to be the living room. She stood there for a while, in silence.

        She would most definitely rather be studying than this, but she knew she had to be less selfish for once and let Yoki do something he deserved for once.

        After a while, someone bumped into her. Mei turned to see it was a young girl, maybe in her early twenties. She was giving Mei a huge grin and was holding a red plastic cup, which was empty.

        “Man, this party is siiiiick!” she slurred out, almost losing her balance. Mei caught her and held her under her forearms for support.

        “Is there alcohol at this party?” Mei whispered, looking at the wasted girl in her arms.

        “GOD, have you EVER been to a house party?? There is weed, and alcohol, and a LOT of cute boooys.” she giggled and fell further into Mei’s arms. Mei gasped in disbelief at the state of her- no, everyone at this party. They were all either drunk or high, which made her terribly concerned.

        “By the way, there was this boy I saw, realll buff, dark hair, nice and tan… he is HOT!! I’d be lucky to land him.” the drunk girl exclaimed, loud enough for the whole room to hear.

        “That is my boyfriend.” Mei replied confidently, letting go of the girls arms. The girl toppled to the floor, laughing the whole time. Mei was tempted to call the police about her state, but she realized that the girl was probably underage, and would get arrested as opposed to treated. Mei didn’t risk it.

        Mei searched for Yoki throughout the whole apartment room. The group of friends he was with had migrated, and now she had no idea where they could possibly be. Mei stepped out onto the balcony, and sure enough, Yoki was there with his friends. Mei couldn’t see very clearly because of the dark of the night, but she noticed the group passing around what seemed to be a blunt.

        Mei nervously approached Yoki and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and gave her a big, goofy smile.

        “Meiii, my man…” Yoki strained, placing a large hand on Mei’s small shoulder. Mei looked into his eyes, only to see them bloodshot and glossed over. _Was he on drugs?_ Mei shuddered at the thought. There was no way a responsible man like Yoki could ever give up the life he has for a life he doesn’t need.

        “I-I’m heading back to our room. I had some work I needed to finish. Please be responsible and come back home at a reasonable time.” Mei stuttered. Why was she so nervous? It was only Yoki...

        Yoki glanced down at his wrist as if he was wearing a watch, then looked back at Mei.

        “Don’t worry baaby…” he slurred, “Imma be home soon. Imma be home, and you’re gonna be in my arms.” he planted a sloppy kiss on Mei’s forehead, then turned back to his friends. Mei sighed. Even seeing Yoki in this state made her happy. There was absolutely no way one night could ruin anything. Besides, Mei had heard on campus that smoking marijuana “wasn’t addictive” and many students successfully used it as a coping mechanism during finals. So honestly, how bad could it be?

        Mei pushed her way through the crowd and to the doorway. Everyone was much more intoxicated than she saw them when she first entered. Many people were on the floor, some people where in the corner, crying, and some were on top of each other, engaging in things that really should be held off until marriage.

        Before she stepped out the door, she saw the girl that she had engaged in conversation with earlier. She was on the floor, propped up against the wall and fast asleep. Mei shed off her cardigan and gently placed in on the girl.

        Tonight was going to be fine.


	3. Revisit and Realization

        Mei woke up in her bed alone, as opposed to seeing Yoki’s bed head. That was her favorite part of waking up. She got out of bed and put on her work uniform. It was Saturday, which meant she had to go work at the coffee shop nearby. 

        Mei shuffled out of the bedroom to go to the kitchen, only to find Yoki passed out on the small loveseat. Mei smiled warmly at the sight. He could afford a day off from his job, especially after a night like the one before. Mei made herself some tea and sat in the easy chair next to Yoki. She outstretched her hand to gently pet the top of his head, feeling his dark, soft hair in between her fingers. This was true bliss.

\---

        After about an hour, Yoki’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Mei smiled and helped him into a sitting position. He grabbed his head and swallowed hard a few times.

        “Christ, my head is killing me…” he muttered. He closed his eyes once more and reached of Mei’s hand. Mei took his hand willingly and gave him a sweet smile.

        “I’ve got Tylenol, if that’ll help.” Mei offered. She was so concerned seeing him in this state. She’d never actually seen him so wasted and weak.

        Yoki shook his head wearily and let go of Mei’s hand.

        “I just need to back to sleep. Could you call my boss and tell him I won’t be there today?” Yoki finally opened his eyes and flashed a weak smile at Mei. She couldn't say no to such a pleading face.

        “Yes, of course! You haven’t taken a day off up until now, so I think everything should be fine. I’ll just work a bit overtime!” Mei cheered. She felt so accomplished, fixing all the problems herself.

        “Oh god, I hate making you do that, but I can barely stay up. I gotta catch some rest. Good luck at work today.” Yoki pulled Mei in for a gently kiss before releasing her and letting her go to work. 

        Mei smiled as she walked out the door. Working overtime was definitely worth it, just to see that everyday of her life.

\---

        Mei was working the cash register at the small coffee shop located on campus. It was a hotspot in the morning so if enough students felt as if they needed a quick hangover cure, they could come over and get an espresso. The usual crowd of students entered the shop, most with  textbooks in hand and a cellphone in the other. 

        But out of the crowd, Mei noticed one person in particular.

        She was an average sized girl with shoulder-length ginger hair which stood in frizzy peaks, and peculiar light grey eyes. On any regular day, Mei would have ignored someone like her. But the girl was wearing a long, soft pink, knit cardigan.

        The cardigan that Mei had given to the drunk girl at the party. 

        The girl slowly trudged up to Mei, and looked up at her. Suddenly, her face lit up, and she took a few steps backward.

        “Hey, you’re the girl with the hot boyfriend!” she exclaimed, once again loud enough for the whole shop to hear. Mei respectfully shushed her and tried to dull her excitement. She bounced up and down for a few beats then began to shed off the fluffy cardigan.

        “This is yours I believe! I was actually half awake in that corner and saw a tall, lanky figure putting this on me like a blanket. I thought it was slenderman! Then I remembered you fit that description very well!” the girl squeaked, handing over a sloppily folded cardigan to Mei. Mei took it and gave her an exasperated smile, feeling slightly uncomfortable.  _ Was she aware of what she was saying?  _

        “Anyway, my name is Sachi Komaeda! Well, my last name isn’t technically Komaeda  _ yet,  _ my name is Sachi Yukimura, but once me and my fiance get married, it will be! I have a lot of faith in our relationship, with my outstanding good luck and all, and that is why we’re marrying so early!” Sachi giggled, outstretching her right hand, which bore an enormous diamond ring. Mei was too shocked to even react. So much happened at once.

        “Well, nice to meet you, Sachi. As much as I didn’t ask, that was interesting to hear. You’re definitely quite the character.” Mei chuckled. Sachi just beamed back with a smile brighter than the sun. She was definitely a joy to be around.

        “Alright! I’ll have three cups of straight, black coffee. I’m studying all day because I have exams tomorrow! I really love university!” Sachi laughed. Mei couldn’t even tell if Sachi was being sarcastic or if she really enjoyed the workload. Her positivity is something she envied. 

        “We should exchange email addresses! I’d love to be in touch with you, Mei. Quite honestly I’ve never been in a conversation this long. People are usually intimidated by my enthusiasm.” she said while taking out a cellphone in a green and red sparkly case, and opening up some sort of application.

        “Alright!” she smiled, “what is your email?” 

        Mei was a bit stunned at what just happened. Could it be her first friend who wasn’t using her? Her first friend who was actually interested in what she had to say? Mei’s face lifted and she quickly whipped her phone out.

        “A black phone!” Sachi giggled, “how professional!”

\---

        Mei untied her apron as she entered her apartment room. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and quickly took it out to read it.

 

To: tanaka.mei@unimail.com

From:  [ sparklysachi55@unimail.com ](mailto:sparklysachi55@unimail.com)

Subject: hi !! o(≧∇≦o)

Hello hellooo ! is this mei ?? i cant wait to be friends with u o(*>ω<*)o gotta go back to studying! got exams 2morrow! 

   
---  
  
        Mei smiled at the little message, and replied with something simple. She put her phone back and hung up her work apron on a dining chair. 

        Mei’s first thought was to check up on Yoki. He was most likely still on the couch in the living room, playing a videogame or texting one of his friends. Mei enjoyed the thought of seeing Yoki casually leaning on the arm of the couch, a controller in his hands, his eyes reflecting the bright screen of the small television they could barely afford. 

        Mei carefully sneaked into the living room, not wanting to disturb whatever he would be doing. 

        But she was greeted with an empty room, with a shut off television screen, and lumpy pillows left untouched on the couch. Mei was a bit confused at first, but then came to the obvious conclusion.  _ He must be in the bedroom, getting proper rest. _

        Mei continued quietly into the bedroom, hoping to finally surprise Yoki with her arrival. 

        But the covers of the bed were perfectly made, just the way Mei had left them this morning. Now, as opposed to confused, Mei was concerned. Where could he possibly be? 

        The whole flat wasn’t very big, considering what they could afford. There really wasn’t anywhere else he could be. 

        “Yoki?” Mei called. She waited for a bit, expecting an answer in return. Nothing but the silence of an empty apartment room. The silence of being alone. A feeling she hoped to never experience again. She shuddered, taking in her surroundings.

        Mei tried to take her mind off of her discomfort and focussed at the problem at hand: Yoki was missing. Mei reached for her phone once again and dialed Yoki’s number. 

        All she received was a dead line. She gripped the phone then set it down gently before she could do anything out of fear and anxiety. She rushed her hands through her short hair and sat down on the couch in the living room. She buried her face in her hands and tried to hold back her tears. Why did she feel so powerless without him? It was pathetic. It was as if he was a power source, and the farther away Mei was, the weaker she was. How could she ever be independent?

        The door clicked.

        Mei looked up to see Yoki stepping indoors. He was holding something under his jacket. At first he didn’t notice Mei, but then he turned his head and his eyes went wide. Mei noticed that the whites of his eyes were slightly red, and he was looking more frantic than usual. He took a few steps back then cleared his throat.

        “Ah, Mei… oh, Mei…” Yoki stammered. Mei noticed the sweat rolling down his forehead.

        “Why weren’t you home?” Mei asked. Yoki cracked a nervous smile.

        “Don’t worry, Mei. I gotta surprise for ya…” Yoki turned around and pulled out the object from under his shirt. It made a small noise, possibly out of discomfort. It was obvious that he was trying to distract Mei from the truth, but she had to put a bit of faith in him. 

        Suddenly, all of Mei’s suspicions were dropped. In Yoki’s arms was a young, black cat. Cats were Mei’s favorite animal, especially black cats, since she considered them to be lucky. Mei’s tears resurfaced as she rushed to Yoki’s side. She took the cat out of his arms and cradled it softly, tears rolling down her face. 

        “She’s a girl!” Mei said through her tears, gently stroking the top of the cat’s head. The kitten purred back, and pushed her head into Mei’s palm.

        Mei looked up to see Yoki’s reaction.

        But instead of having an expression of happiness or relief, he seemed a bit dazed. 

        “What’s wrong?” Mei inquired, still petting the kitten. Yoki shook his head a bit, the looked at Mei and smiled.

        “Nothing, nothing at all. I’m just really glad you’re happy.” he replied. He placed his hand on the back of Mei’s neck and pulled her in for a small kiss.

        His breath smelled like an ashtray. 


	4. Threats

        Mei audibly laughed as her kitten, Luna, walked across her thighs and curled up next to her. Mei and Luna had become extremely close over the course of two weeks, almost as if they had a spiritual connection. If Mei wasn’t in class, working, or studying, she was focusing her attention on Luna. As for Yoki, he had been out of their apartment lately, claiming to be “working extra hours.” Mei adored his dedication to his work, but as much as she hated it, she felt a small wave of suspicion every time he arrived to the apartment with nothing but clammy hands and a small gift for her.

        But Mei didn’t mind. Whatever Yoki was doing, he was managing to bring money into the household, and that was all that mattered. Once they finished university, they would graduate, get jobs in the same school district, and marry. Their plan was destined to work.

        As for Mei’s relationship with Sachi, their friendship was nothing but golden. It felt nice to have someone who actually wanted to know what her favorite flavor of ice cream was, or what kind of music she listened to. No matter how quirky or strange Sachi could become, Mei valued their relationship, since it was a relationship she never thought she’d have.

        Mei tied her apron and finished slipping on her shoes before heading to work. She stopped to kiss Yoki on the forehead, who was blankly staring at the television.

        “You said they changed the start of your shift to 9:00?” Mei inquired, bending down to pet Luna before she left.

        “Yes. I have been working so hard lately that they decided I deserved to start later.” his eyes remained glued to the screen. A flash of uncertainty flooded through Mei’s body.

        Yoki had been acting different than usual. He’d always come home at late hours, claiming it was for work, and he always had a gift waiting for Mei. His eyes were sometimes bloodshot, his palms sweaty, and a look of anxiousness painted on his face. Mei was, naturally, concerned for him. But for some reason, she was too nervous to confront him.

        “I’ll see you after work…” Mei smiled. She gave Luna a final pat on the forehead and walked out the door.

-

        Mei came home exhausted after a long day of annoying customers and soy lattes. She picked at the knot of her apron and finally untied it as she slumped into her dining room chair. As always, Yoki wasn’t home yet. Mei sighed and tossed her head back, looking at the ceiling.

        "I have to talk to him.” she told herself outloud. She felt something brush against her ankles, and was happy to see Luna rubbing her head on Mei’s shin.

        “Well, when he’s not home, I have you.” Mei smiled weakly and picked up Luna, cradling her in her arms. If nothing else went well, Mei was reassured to have a companion by her side. 

        But she had faith in Yoki. The fact that she was doubting him was insane. He was the most loyal man she knew, and the only one in her childhood who thought of her as a human being with emotions as opposed to a punching bag.

        Everyone has flaws, he can be forgiven. 

        Mei finally heard the door unlock, and she saw Yoki walk in, shivering. She couldn’t blame him, the weather was getting cold. 

        He stumbled his way to the other dining chair and plopped down, resting his elbows on the table, head hanging down.

        “So… Yoki?” Mei stuttered. She was getting anxious for some reason. Why? She loved Yoki, there was no reason to doubt him at all. Yoki look at Mei with cold eyes. There was sweat dripping down his face and his nose was red. Mei swallowed nervously and proceeded.

        “Please, um… how do I say this…” Mei couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. His stare was both intent and blank, and it made her uncomfortable.

        “You haven’t been going to work lately, have you?” Mei finally said. She was looking at the surface of the table now, too afraid to see his reaction. What if she was wrong? What if she made him upset by doubting him?

        “Shit..” Yoki finally answered. Mei looked up to see him wiping sweat off his forehead, but it seemed useless since more sweat kept pouring in. 

        Mei was mortified. He was lying? But, the two had such a strong foundation. They had believed and trusted each other through thick and thin, ever since middle school and up until now. Mei could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She choked them back.

        “Well, what have you been doing?” Mei looked away once again and asked. 

        “Mei… baby you trust me. I’m not doing anything bad, I swear. I’d never. I just needed a break from all the stress-”

        Mei heard plastic drop onto the floor. Her focus darted to a small bag lying on the ground, filled with some sort of white powder.

        “Fuck me… fuck.” Yoki groaned. Mei was frozen in her spot. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t breathe, and she couldn’t move. Her eyes stayed attached to the bag on the floor.

        “That’s not…” Mei shook her head in disbelief. Yoki struggled to grab the plastic bag, as if half of his body had been paralyzed. 

        Mei stood up and promptly walked to the bedroom. And she finally let out the tears she had been holding back. 

\---

        Mei had been staying at the apartment of Sachi and her fiance. Sachi’s partner was a stoic man with brown hair which curled at the tips. It was incredible how opposites could attract, with Sachi starting everyday with excited squeals and bright eyes, and Komaeda only being able to function with coffee. Mei only wished her relationship was as dynamic as theirs. 

        Mei was too afraid to go back to her own apartment. She didn’t want to see Yoki’s ghastly, pale face. She hadn’t heard his voice in approximately 10 days. She avoided any place she expected him to be, even knowing that he’d most likely be too occupied in his drugs to be there. 

        Sachi had eyed Mei’s heightened discomfort. Mei’s hands were shaking as she brought a hot mug to her shivering lips. Sachi made a visible frown and inched closer to where Mei was sitting. She placed a warm hand on Mei’s thin shoulders.

        “Mei, I know something is wrong, though you won’t tell me what, but you’ve been getting worse. I believe it’s time you face the issue.” Sachi spoke sternly. Mei jumped in her seat slightly, not only because she was startled by her sudden gesture, but also because of her out-of-character line. She turned her head to face Sachi’s glowing eyes.

        “You’re definitely right, I have gotten worse,” Mei began, placing down the mug, “but I’m just so afraid at this point. I don’t have the courage to confront him” 

        Mei felt her voice crack as she began to speak. She lifted her fingertips to her hollow cheeks as a small tear rolled down. 

        “Mei… I’m always here for you. Name anyone else who would have let you stay at their place for this long. I don’t need to know what you’re going through, but I assure you, you’ll make it! And anyway, Luna is waiting for you!”

        Mei’s heart dropped. Luna. What a fool, she had forgotten Luna. No doubt, her poor cat hadn’t been properly fed for the past ten days. She forced herself to pick up her legs, throwing herself out the door and onto the street. She felt Sachi’s voice fade away the further she got. Her mind was foggy. She trusted her legs to carry her in the right direction. Luna, Luna, Luna…

        She mindlessly tugged at the doorknob to her apartment. The tears were streaming even harder now, her pulse driving out of control. She found the key hidden under the doormat and pushed the door open.

        The room reeked of rotten milk and other unpleasant stenches. She instinctively vomited onto the pristine carpet. She was shivering terribly hard, the cold and her fear combining into one juggernaut. Her vision was giving out.

        Using the wall, she felt her way to the living room. The scent was only getting more vivid, more close. She desperately wiped her eyes, trying to fix her dazed vision.

        She saw a blurry, black mass on the center rug.

        She could only hear the blood pumping in her ears. She stumbled to the rug, bent over the blob which ended up being Luna. Luna was the source of the awful scent. Mei had suppressed the uprising vomit.

        “Wake up, Luna…” Mei desperately caressed Luna’s small head. Mei knew she was dead. She didn’t want to believe she was dead. 

        Near the corpse was a bit of dried blood and a note. The note was written with a blunt pencil in messy handwriting.

        Yoki.

        Mei tried to focus on the white piece of paper in her quivering hands, but no matter what, she couldn’t get her eyes to focus. The world would fluctuate from clear to blurry. She slapped herself in the face to make sure she could finally see.

        “If you leave me again, THIS will happen to YOU!” the note taunted.

        Limp, Mei collapsed onto the floor, her dark world turning into a black abyss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with my dumb story so far. The support is appreciated.


	5. Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how lengthy this chapter is, I kinda poured my heart into it and ignored logic. That may explain the holes and grammar mistakes. Thanks for the support :)

        “You won’t tell anyone.”

        Mei’s eyelids fluttered open. She was lying on the same floor as last time. She saw a figure looming over her, only a silhouette in the bright lights.

        “You won’t tell anyone about the corpse, or the threat, or the drugs. You will act as though you are an oblivious klutz who can’t see past her own damn nose.” Mei felt a kick to her rib, causing her to lose all of the air in her lungs. She recognized the voice which was belittling her.

        Yoki.

        “And most important of all, you are not breaking up with me.” Yoki smiled. He crouched down to where Mei was lying and gently caressed her face. Mei didn’t have the tears or energy to scream or cry. She could only lie on the ground, as lifeless as Luna. In fact, she felt as helpless as her poor cat, a slave forced under the submission of an abusive owner.

        “The cat trick was too easy,” Yoki scoffed. He began to pace around the living room, “I knew you’d remember about Luna someday, and if you didn’t remember, then your bitch of a friend would. You’re just too easy, darling.” He allowed the word “darling” to roll off of his tongue and smack Mei in the face.

        “You’ve been easy since the beginning, actually. A poor bullied girl, friendless and alone, thinking everyday if she should finally jump off the school roof. You’re like a rubber band, so pliable and easy to manipulate.” Yoki laughed this time, now finished with his monologue and prepared to utter his final words.

        “You will continue reporting to work, and you will not tell anyone about what you’re going through. If you do, I’m afraid I’ll have to take some serious measures.”

        Mei mustered the strength to pull herself up. She stood facing Yoki, inspecting his smug expression and crossed arms.

        “You’ll start with cleaning the damn place. Vomit and corpse are an awful combination. Not to mention, I’ve been hosting a few parties here. Let’s just say that your present was a joint effort.” He smiled. She did not. She stood like a statue. She couldn’t think, couldn’t talk, and definitely couldn’t cry anymore. She helplessly saw him walk past her and out the door. She just remained standing, staring at the ripping wallpaper and broken life.

\---

        Mei had begun to skip class. She was slowly picking up another job and was seeing her loved ones less and less. Her phone vibrated as Sachi sent texts, but she didn’t dare to utter a word. She felt Yoki haunting her mind and enclosing his strong hands on her fragile brain. She rubbed her head due to the migraine.

        She was at the cafe, working overtime to assure she got a raise. Business was thinning, and the sun was setting. Mei leaned over the counter, physically exhausted from all of the emotional trauma she had been through. The doorbell jingled as it swung open.

        “Mei!” Mei heard a familiar voice ring through the empty room. She wearily raised her head to see Sachi holding the door, wearing the same cardigan she had been wearing at the night of the party. Mei shuddered.

        “You haven’t been answering my messages! I’ve been so lonely, but above that, I’m really concerned. Are you ok?” Sachi chimed as she walked towards the counter. Mei kept her gaze focused on the floor, fearing that even a look in her friend’s eyes will make her spill her emotions.

        “I’m fine,” Mei lied, trying to force a smile but failing, “I’ve just been busy with my new job and everything.” Mei saw Sachi cross her arms and sink into her hip, obviously not buying her excuse.

        “Well if you were ‘fine,’ then you’d look me in the face.” Sachi still had her bubbly, childish tone, but it felt a lot heavier for whatever reason. Mei attempted to lift her head to face Sachi, and she watched Sachi’s expression change from a pout to a worried frown.

        “Oh my god, Mei you look like a corpse! You look like you haven’t been getting sleep!” Sachi cupped Mei’s face in her hands, inspecting all of the premature wrinkles and dark circles. Mei couldn’t hold in her tears any longer.

        “Mei…” Sachi finally said, dropping her hands. Mei mentally slapped herself. She knew this would happen, she knew she’d let her emotions out in front of Sachi. Now Yoki was going to punish her- maybe worse. Oh god, she was such a fool such a disgusting-

        Sachi suddenly swooped Mei into a tight embrace, not saying a word. The cold air in the cafe hung still for a moment. Mei couldn’t even process the information that was being registered into her mind. Mei struggled to get free but Sachi held on, feeling tears come down her own cheeks.

        “I’m sorry, Sachi,” Mei sighed, “something _is_ wrong. I can’t tell you… I- I don’t-”

        “It’s alright,” Sachi chuckled, “just don’t ignore the people that are here to help you. Please, if your issues get any worse, you must flee. You can’t keep yourself in such a toxic environment.” Sachi pulled away to better see Mei’s face

        “You must have hope.”

-

        Mei cautiously opened her apartment door, hand shaking as she turned the key. She feared every time she had to enter her flat, since she never knows what would be behind the door. The door swung on its rusting hinges as she pushed it open.

        Inside, Yoki was sitting on the dining table with a couple of his friends, and they were smoking. The entire apartment was dank with moisture and smoke.

        “You’re a little early.” Yoki scoffed, checking the watch on his wrist. Mei hadn’t noticed that watch before, and it looked relatively expensive.

        “It’s 10:00pm, I’ve been working this entire time.” Mei said hesitantly, untying her apron and hanging it near the door. Yoki’s friends all gave a few chuckles and looked Mei up and down.

        “So,” one of his friends announced, elbowing Yoki in the arm, “this is your bitch?”

        Bitch. She hadn’t registered how cruel the term was until his friend said it. She didn’t even feel hurt when Yoki regularly called her a “bitch.” She felt ashamed for having such a frail, messed-up brain.

        “She’s a little skinny,” another of the friends piped up after exhaling smoke, “she doesn’t have an ass at all. Where’d you catch this stick?” Yoki’s friends laughed, high-fiving the man who made the remark. Mei held her arms in front of her stomach, getting the same feeling she had when she was in middle school. She caught Yoki’s glance and was too afraid to let it go.

        “Don’t be so cruel, guys. She has her perks, otherwise she’d be living on the streets!” the boys laughed harder. Mei was frozen in her spot. She was appalled and terrified by the scene happening right in front of her.

        “Watch this.” Yoki raised his hand up to silence his friends and approached Mei. Mei reflexively stepped back and flinched.

        “Clean up the place.” Yoki stated. He kept a straight face as he towered over Mei. Mei’s brain switched into a dissociative state. She knew that if she didn’t comply, she’d be killed. She grabbed cleaning solutions and a broom and starting wiping the place clean. She had no choice, and even if she wanted to stop, her body was acting without her brain. She shuddered as she continued on with the task.

        “Holy shit man! Now this is incredible. My girl would never do this. She’d just storm out of the apartment for two hours then come back begging for forgiveness.” More laughter emerged. Mei flinched at the noise. She cancelled out the noise and took the time that she was cleaning to reflect on everything that has happened thus far.

        She remembered her first encounter with the new Yoki she thought she knew, thinking about what he had said. “You’ve been easy since the beginning.” Has he been planning this since the beginning? Was he taking advantage of her this entire time, using her fragility and diligence to mooch off of her money? She shuddered at the idea of a middle schooler coming up with such a sadistic plan.

        What was he trying to accomplish, anyway? She complied to his orders, sure, and she did bring money to the household, but she was replaceable. He had the looks and charm to seduce any poor soul into entering Hell. Was it because a part of him still loved her. Mei scolded herself for thinking such a thought, but a part of her still loved him to. A part of her still wanted that childhood fantasy of theirs to be true, even if the whole thing was a facade.

        “Alright that’s enough, you’re boring me.” Yoki said. Mei instantly stopped what she was doing and wiped the tears that had been pouring down her face. She turned to face Yoki and his friends, who were now getting closer to where Mei was standing. Mei couldn’t turn away. It was as if her feet were stuck in cement.

        “How about you go to work or something, leave the flat. My buddies and I have other ideas of fun.” Yoki taunted, cupping Mei’s chin. Mei flinched, which irritated Yoki slightly. Mei wanted to protest, she felt her muscles tense as if they wanted to take action.

        But she didn't. She couldn't. She was shackled to a stone six feet under ground, where nobody could rescue her. She only nodded. It's all she was capable of.

        She took a cardigan to wear outside as Yoki watched. She felt his deathly glare even through the door as she walked- no, ran away. The cold winter breeze felt like ice in her blood and in her tears. She ran to the only place she knew she was safe - the only place she knew she'd be free and accepted.

        She knocked on Sachi’s door.

-

        “Oh, hey!” Sachi smiled. She was obviously awoken from sleep, since her hair was more frizzy than usual, and she was wearing pajamas - green plaid fuzzy pants and an oversized white shirt with a strange red symbol.

        “I'm sorry for the intrusion…” Mei murmured with the last of her strength.

        “You’re fine! Just be quiet, my fiancé is still asleep.” Sachi whispered as she let Mei through the door. For college students, their apartment was packed with modern, expensive looking furniture and other decor. The flat was roomier than Mei’s, and even had two bathrooms.

        “I never had the chance to tell you how incredible your taste in furniture is.” Mei said, looking at a small golden statuette in a cabinet.

        “I received a pretty large inheritance from my parents when they died. They were loaded!” Sachi chuckled softly. Mei could tell that Sachi didn't exactly feel comfortable joking about her own parents death. Mei softened a bit and dared to put her hand on Sachi’s shoulder. Sachi smiled and led Mei to the kitchen island.

-

        “Alright, I'm sorry if this is personal,” Sachi finally said, “but, may I know what's been going on lately? Your health has been deteriorating, if this continues any longer, I'm afraid these effects may be permanent.”

        Mei’s heart dropped to the floor. She felt her body start to shake and she quickly cast her gaze away from Sachi. She bit her lip. She couldn't say.

        “If I told you,” Mei said, deadpan, “he’ll kill me.”

        Mei stared holes into the counter. Sachi had her hands in fists and was only looking at Mei. She sighed and leaned in closer.

        “I don't know how to say this politely, but I think you’ll die faster if you do not tell anyone.”

        Mei finally looked up. Sachi’s expression was very serious- scary, even. Her usually lit eyes were dull and grey, and her bubbly personality was gone.

        “I am sorry, but it's the truth. Look at yourself! Your face is wrinkled, your cheeks are hollow, your skin is translucent, you're vomiting constantly- there's just no other way of saying this. Let me help you, before no one can.” Sachi spoke. Mei only looked at her. She couldn't believe what was coming out of Sachi’s mouth. The usually jumpy airhead was now a woman grounded in reality, ready to be a saint.

       Mei took in a couple of deep breaths. She was going to do it. She had to, there was no other way. Sachi is putting her life on the line just to save Mei's and that is the most honorable thing anyone has every done for her. Mei was bursting at the seams to tell, just waiting for the right moment to burst...

        “He’s abusing me- Yoki, I mean. He killed Luna just to prove he's in control. There's nothing I can do because… he's right. I'm weak without him. There is still a part of me that loves him, that wants him to call it off as a joke, but I know it will not happen. He threatened to kill me if I didn't comply. He forces me to skip school and work longer hours so that more money is flowing into the household. He buys himself drugs and gifts and uses me as a slave-”

        She stopped. Mei slapped her hand over her mouth. Oh god. Mei staggered away from the island, gasping and crying painful, hot tears.

        “I'm going to die!” Mei gasped. She looked at Sachi, who stood in place, motionless.

        “You're not-” Sachi cleared her throat, “you’re not going to die. I’m going to make sure of that.” Sachi slowly approached Mei, who had sunken to the floor with her head on her knees. Sachi kneeled on the ground, placing a hand on Mei’s shoulder, just as Mei had when she entered the apartment.

        “I will help you. There is nothing I will not do to save you. You are my only friend here at university and I can’t see you suffer like this.” Sachi spoke sternly. She wrapped her arms around Mei and let Mei cry into her shoulder.

        “You must have hope, Mei. Hope is a beautiful thing. Hope will surpass despair, because hope is the strongest force known to man. As long as we both have this unstoppable force, we will muddle through, alright?”

        Mei looked up at Sachi, who was firmly holding onto both of her shoulders now.

        Then, time was shattered. The fresh air in the room had suddenly turned heavy and dank, suffocating Mei and making Sachi spring to her feet.

        There were three sharp knocks on the door.

        “It couldn’t be…” Mei breathed, about to vomit from the stress and fear surging to her stomach.

        Sachi strode to the door with an artificial calmness, trying to put on a mask of strength and support for Mei. On the inside, especially because of what Mei had described, she was feeling weak and afraid. Terribly afraid.

        She swung open the door, and to her dismay, it was Yoki.

        “Where is Mei?” Yoki asked in a light tone. Sachi sneered at the facade, seeing right through his fake kindness.

        “She didn’t stop by here,” Sachi lied, keeping the door almost completely closed to hide Mei, “maybe she’s on campus or in town?”

        Yoki scoffed and pushed the rest of the door open. In plain sight, Mei was sitting on the floor, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

        “She tattled, I see.” Yoki chuckled. He pushed Sachi out of the way and yanked Mei onto her feet by her wrist.

        “What do you mean?” Sachi tried to fib, but her worry was bleeding through. She was a great liar usually, but in this moment, when a life is at stake, she couldn’t keep her true emotions behind a wall.

        “You know what I mean,” Yoki growled, heading towards the door, “and I don’t think you’ll be seeing from your ‘friend’ again. We’re moving out, and you will not speak a word about what Mei has told you.”

        “Or what?” Sachi yelled. She knew that testing Yoki was a horrible idea, but she had promised Mei that she wasn’t going to give up hope, so she had to fight for Mei’s life. For everyone’s life.

        “Or...” Yoki trailed, letting the word roll off of his tongue, “I’ll tell your fiance about your little secret. You know, the schizophrenia that you inherited from your parents along with their wealth.”

        Sachi’s mouth dropped open. She was absolutely speechless. How could he, someone she’s never interacted with, someone who isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, possibly know about something like that?

        “How-” Sachi began, before being interrupted by Yoki’s sharp tongue.

        “Your psychiatrist slipped it out. I knew Mei was gonna tell you eventually, especially after that stunt she pulled by staying at your place for ten days. I had to find some leverage against you, or else my perfect future will crumple to shreds.” Yoki gestured toward Mei, who was just as afraid and appalled as Sachi.

        “Followed some pharmacy prescriptions and found the office of your psychiatrist. Really, this was an extra step since I could have figured out your illness from your prescription, but this was the icing on the cake. I did a few… favors for your psychiatrist. Turns out she’s very easy to get information out of, I barely had to go anywhere. Figured out you were insane, and that your fiance doesn’t know. Ouch!” his fake sincerity burned in Sachi’s ear. She knew Yoki was manipulative and cunning, but she had underestimated the intelligence and power vested within him. She was too shocked to even cry.

        “I’m sure you wouldn’t want something like that to slip, especially…” he paused for dramatic effect, “especially with a baby on the way.”

        “Get out of my apartment.” Sachi said, looking past Yoki and Mei. Mei had a terrified expression plastered on her face. The beautiful Sachi, the girl who had promised to remain hopeful had fallen to the grips of despair.

        “It’d be a little unsafe to have a mother who sees a demon instead of a child and has violent, neurotic episodes when off of her medication.” Yoki smiled a wide, malicious grin. Sachi was forcefully pushing Yoki and Mei out the door.

        “You will leave and never return.” Sachi breathed. Her anger was worn out and had just turned into desperate frustration.

        “Don’t worry, the secret is safe with me,” Yoki raised his hands in surrender, with one of his hands still holding Mei’s wrist, “Just as long as you don’t babble to anyone about our arrangement.” He pointed toward Mei. Sachi couldn’t make eye contact with Mei. She knew that she was shattering the trust between herself and Mei, but what choice did she have? She couldn’t risk her perfect marriage and the life of a child for a friend.

        “I’m sorry, Mei.” Sachi muttered, and slammed the door in both of their faces.

        Heartbroken. No, Mei didn’t have the energy for that. She was terrified. Her guardian angel was out of her life, and now punishment awaited her from Yoki. She couldn’t even look him in the eye.

        “Now you,” Yoki sighed, forcefully turning Mei’s face towards his, “I have to take some serious measures so that you don’t have any ideas of leaving.” He led her by the wrist back to their own apartment. Mei was speechless, mostly from fright, partly from her mind being jumbled after what just happened. She lost a friend and found out secrets she should have never known.

        Mei had lost time and jumped to Yoki opening up the door to their apartment. She tried to focus on the situation- register the information passing in one ear out the other.

        “Alright, let’s make a more… permanent addition to this household.” Yoki said deviously. Mei tried to decipher what he meant by that. Permanent addition? He couldn’t-

        “Wait… you don’t mean… a child?” Mei whimpered. Yoki only grinned. Mei’s eyes widened and heart rate spiked. For the first time, she found strength in herself to fight.

        “No!” she screamed, pulling her wrist away from his grasp. She could see the bruises starting to form from his tight grasp. She continued to yell, pushing objects out of the way as she ran out of the apartment. Angry tears streamed down her face as she ran faster and harder.

        But unfortunately, he was faster.

        Yoki caught up to Mei and threw her to the ground. He stepped on her chest to make sure she didn’t escaped. She squirmed free from his foot, but Yoki caught her by the waist and dragged her by the hair back to the flat. A chunk of hair came out in his fist.

        “God, I wished you’d just shut up!” he yelled back after Mei’s plees

        And in one swift motion, Yoki punched her in the head, knocking her unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had headcannoned before writing this chapter that Komaeda's mother suffered from postpartum depression after giving birth to Komaeda, but decided this route would make more sense in the story. Poured my heart out, yada-yada. Same excuses.


	6. Isolation

        Mei awoke in the bedroom, the sheets covering her. She was alone in the bed, no other noises in the flat indicating that Yoki was present. Mei was beginning to feel relieved, until she shed the covers and discovered to her dismay that she was naked. She brought her hand to her face to feel the dried blood where her nose was bleeding, and examined her body for large, green bruises and other signs of violence. The sight of herself made her vomit into the nearby trash can.

        Putting baggy clothes on, she carefully searched the remainder of the apartment to see if Yoki was truly gone, and to her relief, he was not there. 

        She checked her phone, but didn’t see any messages from Sachi. Was that horrible, painful encounter the only time she would ever see her friend again? She whimpered at the thought. Mei also looked at the date on her phone, to check how long she had been out, and she was surprised to see that she had missed multiple days. Had she lost her memory? Could one punch do that much damage? 

        She sent a message to Sachi, hopefully with a return. Mei really didn’t want to lose her friendship with Sachi just because of Yoki. Actually, once she thought about it, she didn’t really remember what had happened the night before. She remember Yoki infiltrating Sachi’s apartment, and she remembers learning about Sachi’s mental illness, but she couldn’t remember past that. Mei rubbed her face with her hand and noticed the purple bruise on her wrist. Does she really bruise that easily?

        Finally, after lying in bed for at least half an hour, Mei mustered the strength to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes of staring at the floor, Mei finally lifted her eyes to look at the figure in the mirror.

        She was horrified. In fact, horrified was an understatement. She look emaciated, her ribs poking through her greying skin. Her cheekbones were very prominent, and her eyes were glossy. All over her body were bruises and dried blood that could have been there for days. Tears fell out of her eyes with no emotion attached to them.

        While looking in the mirror, something caught her attention in the corner of her eye. She saw something sitting on the counter: a small, blue cardboard box with something written on it. Mei picked up the small box and took a closer look.

        “Clearblue Pregnancy Test”

        Mei almost collapsed to the floor. What kind of fucking sick joke was this. A note was taped to the back written in Yoki’s sloppy handwriting:

        “Please use this test. Results need to be positive or we’ll have to try again.”     

        Mei couldn’t even cry anymore. There wasn’t a point to tears. Tears didn’t bring back the dead, and they didn’t restore love and trust. Tears just made her weak, and she was tired of feeling weak.

        But it seemed that “weak” was the only thing that she could feel. Weakness was her constant state of being, and she felt this weakness as she open the pregnancy and took it. She waited impatiently as she say the plus sign appear on the stick. Mei let out a desperate laugh, a laugh of disbelief and depression.

        “No, this is fine,” Mei reassures, “it is way too early to take a pregnancy test. Yoki is just being an idiot and being controlling.”

        Mei knew this was true, but she knew she’d never tell Yoki this. He would disregard her, accusing her of hiding the truth and possibly assault her again just to prove a point. There was just no escape from him, no way to win against his deck of cards. And anyway, even if it was too early for the pregnancy test to be accurate, she knew she was pregnant. That was the only thing Yoki could have meant when he said “permanent addition.”

        Mei gently set the positive pregnancy test on the counter and got fully dressed. She had to get out of this apartment, at least for now. As she was going out the door, she dialed Sachi/s number. If she could confide in anyone, it had to be Sachi. Sachi was her best friend and most likely the only one who could understand. Sachi hadn’t replied to Mei’s earlier message, but Mei still had hope, just as Sachi had suggested. Mei cautiously dialed the number and waited, counting her paces as she walked out the door. Suddenly, a deeper voice picked up the phone:

        “Hello?” it said. Mei didn’t recognize it right away, but she soon realized it was Sachi’s fiancee, who she only knew the surname of (Komaeda).

        “Hello, is Sachi there?” Mei asked hopefully. Hope is all she had now: no love, no trust, no support, only hope.

        “I’m sorry, Sachi is out at the moment,” Komaeda answered distractedly.

        “Why did she leave her phone at home then?” Mei remarked, annoyance tainting her voice. She didn’t mean to sound condescending, but she really needed to hear Sachi’s voice.

        “She won’t be talking to you any time soon,” he replies eventually, a pang of pain pressing into Mei’s chest.

        “Can I hear her say that to me? Can she just tell me that we won’t see eachother again?” Mei cries. She was stopped in her tracks and couldn’t move, shaking from the cold and the shock. She hears some background noise and the movement of the phone.

        “I’m sorry, Mei. I know Yoki’s threats shouldn’t have set us apart, but his blackmail is too serious. It’s one thing to make baseless threats, but now, something real is at stake. As much as I need to help you, I can’t lose my entire life just because of something like this. Christ, I have a baby--”

        “I do too!” Mei interjects. The line goes silent for many seconds, just the thick air between them for many seconds. Nobody dared to say anything, or rather, no one knew what to say. Then, Mei began:

        “He raped me, Sachi. A couple days ago, when he dragged me out of your apartment, he raped me and now I’m positive I have his child. I just wanted someone to confide in, but if my life really affect yours this much, I won’t bother you anymore. Best of luck to you and your fiance, and may you two have hope in your life. Goodbye, Sachi.”

        Mei disconnected, not giving Sachi time to respond. She sighed and continued walking, trying to leave Sachi and her troubles behind her. The fresh air was doing Mei well, allowing her to breath for once without the foul stench of something spoiled and drugs. Mei thought of anyone else she could call, anyone she trusted, like a classmate or coworker. She sifted through lists of names, Hinata and Tsumiki and the like, but nothing came up. Once all of her options were exhausted, she was left with only one choice: her mother. 

        Mei and her mother didn’t necessarily have a negative relationship, but they certainly drifted apart over the years. Mei’s mother retained very stern, religious moral beliefs, so Mei couldn’t predict her mother’s reaction when she’ll tell her she’s pregnant. Mei hoped, of course, that her mother would be sympathetic and understanding, but this wasn’t the case all of the time.

        Mei carefully dialed her mother’s number. She took deep breaths and practiced other calming techniques as the line rang and rang. Finally, after ringing four times, her mother picked up the phone.

        “Mei?” an older voice asked, “why are you calling me? Why aren’t you in class?” Mei felt like a fool for not planning how to handle talking to her mother beforehand. Was she going to be blunt, or will she dance around the issue? She took a couple of seconds before she formulated an answer.

        “Mother, Yoki raped me. He had been abusive for the past months, and now he has impregnated me,” Mei replied. There was silence on the receiving end, complete and utter silence.

        “You’re pregnant?” her mother repeats. It was almost as she had heard none of the rest of that sentence. 

        “Yes,” Mei says, looking directly into the floor. Another long, painful pause.

        “Well, I am very disappointed in you,” Mei’s mother finally says. Mei was appalled. Mei almost dropped to her knees from the sheer amazement of her response. 

        “Disappointed in me?” Mei asks. Her jaw was literally dropped.

        “You know that sex before marriage is a sin,” Mei’s mother replied, “unprotected sex even more so. I thought you would be responsible, Mei.”

        “Did you not hear any of that sentence? He  _ raped  _ me. He knocked me unconscious and had sex with my body without my consent. He has been abusing me and has been doing and selling drugs. What part of this do you not understand?” Mei yelled. She didn’t care if anyone heard anymore. In fact, maybe someone will hear this and accept it as a cry for help. But, as Mei learned, no one seems to care about anything except for what affects them. If it doesn’t inherently affect them, they have no need for affiliation. Human beings are selfish creatures, and that’s just the way life is.

        “Yoki would never behave like that, you’re lying to save your own skin,” Mei’s mother replied viciously. Mei gasped audibly, her eyes widening with horror.

        “What do I need to do to convince you? Should I show you the bruises? Should I show you my skinny body and my wrinkled face? What do I need to do to fucking convince you?” Mei screamed. She was so close to shutting the phone off until her mother said one final thing.

        “Yoki arranged for a private marriage in our home church. I assumed that you two were just eagerly in love, but I should have known that pregnancy was the case. The wedding is in a week from today, be ready please.”

        Mei was speechless. She couldn’t even comprehend what was coming out of her mother’s mouth. 

        “Mother, I cannot marry him. I would rather end my life now than ever see his face again,” I spat. I couldn’t even stop myself from saying those words. How could her mother be so ignorant? So unwilling to look at basic facts? 

        “Suicide is a sin,” Mei’s mother replied curtly, and ended the call. 

        Mei let the phone fall out of her hand and onto the sidewalk. She couldn’t even believe what she was hearing. A wedding? That was her worst nightmare. Living with Yoki for eternity, however long that was at this point, was a fate worse than death. A fate worse than eternal damnation. Many thoughts flooded Mei’s brain: committing suicide right then and there, aborting the baby by any means possible, running away, anything at all that would let her escape from her current disposition. But she knew nothing would work. Either way, everyone would continue with their selfish agenda, keeping their face in their phones as they pass the corpse on the street. Mei was going to be alone for the rest of her life: alone with Yoki, and the only escape was death.

        It was Yoki, or death. It has always been a choice between Yoki and death. Ever since middle school, when Mei’s feet touched the ledge of the school roof, it was Yoki who snatched her from the ledge and forced her to choose “life.” Was that the right choice? Would life have been better if Yoki had just let her do what she was going to do? Was she just born to die?

        Suddenly, Mei’s phone vibrated. It was an email from Sachi, someone who Mei thought she would never see again. Mei gently picked up the phone lying on the ground and read the message: 

 

To: tanaka.mei@unimail.com

From:  [ sparklysachi55@unimail.com ](mailto:sparklysachi55@unimail.com)

Subject: I Apologize

 

Dear Mei,

      I wish I could reverse time and undo the wrongs I have done. I came clean to my fiance about my mental illness, and he reacted very rationally and calmly about it. I have no idea why I was scared. Anyway, I’m sure that my life is the last thing you want to hear about. I just wanted to say that I am ready to help you with anything. I can transfer money to your bank account, I can provide you shelter, I can do anything for you. Just please, let me help you. I know what I did was stupid and immature, but I realize that now and I can provide you with at least hope. 

Will you accept?

Love,

Sachi

        Mei looked at the message for a long time, not knowing what to say. Sachi could be her angel, her saving grace and guardian. Will she accept? She didn’t even know anymore. What was the point of fighting back anymore?

 

To:  [ sparklysachi55@unimail.com ](mailto:sparklysachi55@unimail.com)

From:  [ tanaka.mei@unimail.com ](mailto:tanaka.mei@unimail.com)

Subject: [none]

 

Dear Sachi,

      It’s too late. What’s done has been done. I am a dead woman walking.

 

        Mei hits send, and begins to head back to her apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't know why I returned to this fic after a year. I guess I just love it that much? It's not like anyone reads it but maybe it'll catch someone's eye one day.


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